Community: Real Life

Seating for the special


mat murray

Mat is a southerner living in Leeds. When not eating Greggs he's writing blogs, which he does daily at matmurray.com. He also likes fish and chips, Crystal Palace and Come Dine with Me.

Do you ever pay extra for VIP seating at the cinema? Well more fool you, rants Mat.

A new phenomenon has started at your local cinema, VIP seating is its name and class war is its game. VIP seating isn't new, I know that, but it's changed from what it once was. Even back when I was 9 years-old I remember adverts for the VIP seating; you had access to a waitress service, a bigger seat in a booth, and at the time, you could smoke. I must admit I was tempted, but I wasn't tall enough to buy 40 Bensons and chain-smoke them through Titanic.

More recently, VIP seating has moved. Where it was once a separate booth at the back of the cinema where you could buy drinks and smoke a fat one, they're now in the two best rows of the house for all to see. No more waitressing, no booth, and no smoking (says the sign) and now the VIP seating is in those two oh so perfect rows that everyone wants. About ¾ of the way up the stairs are now these new leather seats with nice wood bits in-between the arm rest and the hole where you place your £9 Coke. (Or the 59p bottle of water from Morrison's, if you're like me)

Leather though, I mean in summer that's going to be a right laugh, isn't it? But then, if you're willing to pay the extra £2 for leather and a bit of wood, then you deserve to be stuck to the seat. Fuck, if I bought one, I'd get in the screening room about 40 minutes early and stay until the credits finished just to get my money's worth. But there's also stigma attached to the seating. The people sitting either two rows too close to the screen or two rows too far away are pissed off, and the people who have actually paid for the seats seem embarrassed to be there as well.

That's if they have paid. Three people came into the cinema tonight and casually walked up the stairs towards the empty VIP seats and I just bloody knew what they would do. On cue, the three looked around as if actually making a decision (they weren't, they had already decided their course of action prior to entering the screen) They pretended to think about it and bam, they sat down in those horrible dirty leather seats with the wood bits next to the arm rests. Oh man, I was mad. But did I say anything? Course not. That's not my style. Instead, I just waited for the good Lord to do his work. And do his work he did, as five minutes later two upstanding fellows came in with their paid-for tickets stubs and rightfully claimed their VIP seats.

"Now I might seem bitter about the VIP seating, but I'm really not. I mean, I refuse to spend another two hundred pence on a cinema ticket just for an extra bit of leather and wood."

Now I might seem bitter about the VIP seating, but I'm really not. I mean, I refuse to spend another two hundred pence on a cinema ticket just for an extra bit of leather and wood. That's like me getting a stripper for my mate's birthday but paying extra so she tells him she loves him. It won't make a jot of difference.

Back to the cinema though; I just won't pay that sort of money for a bit of leather. Besides, if you sit in the row just behind the VIP twats you actually get more leg room. So that's Regular Joes - 1, I love Wood and Leather idiots - 0. Thing is, tonight we didn't even get the chance to sit in those hollowed chairs. My girlfriend went to the cinema early to book the tickets and she just wasn't given the option. Honestly, what did they think? Did you they think: "This reprobate hasn't got two quid to spare, don't even bother". She would've refused anyway, but it's the principle.

But what happens if you do pay extra? All eyes are on you, just looking to see if you're going to sit in one of those seats. Luckily I haven't felt the crushing pressure of sitting my ass on one of those things. I actually feel quite proud when I sit two rows too high.

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